“We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.” ~Mother Teresa
And to think I’d been on a roll. Insomnia, while usually caused by writing sessions that have little or no respect for the human body’s (or bladder’s) ability to function without proper sleep, occasionally leaves me feeling…well…anxious. Yet, I don’t mean in a how-am-I-going-to-pay-bills kind of way, though that’s always a concern. This night has me hoping for the impossible.
I know better than to expect anything spectacular. I know to ready myself for the inevitable. But there are times when trying to tell your soul that something isn’t going to happen, is like telling your dog that you aren’t happy to see him when you’ve just walked in the door.
My soul is so excited it would pee on itself were it capable. Why? Because of a submission that I recently sent (as in a few hours ago). Their average turn around time is four weeks. I think four weeks is completely reasonable. I also think four weeks can’t pass in the five minute lapse between my bathroom break and the last time I checked my email…but that sure won’t keep me from checking it again anyway. As if by some miracle, Sam from Quantum Leap is going to pop in and arrange for my manuscript to be miraculously accepted with chronologically impossible speed.
I’ve stated over and over that I write for the love of it, and little else. Yet, every now and then something catches my eye, someone says the right bit of encouragement, and I’ll find myself seeking exposure. So here I am, wagging my tail by the front door, waiting. I suppose this marks me as an optimist *shudder*: That term has never been used with my name anywhere near it. In fact, I’m usually so pessimistic that I (swear this is true) bought a shirt at an outdoor apparel store, with the understanding that it read ‘half empty’ beneath the cartoon glass. I thought it was snarky and clever. In reality it was a Life is Good shirt and to my horror I discovered that I had been walking around with a nasty scowl on my face and ‘half full’ emblazoned on my bosom. Nice.
So I guess this is God’s sense of humor. I know that I’m setting myself up for disappointment…but damn it…I heard the car pull up in the driveway!